If you are timid, no one can be brave for you; if you flinch, no one can move forward for you.
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I have heard a sentence:
"in this life, you can't rely on anyone.
when you pin your hopes on others, one day, you will fall from the peak of hope to the bottom of disappointment
"It is true that no one in the world will be your safe haven forever.
even parents, children and friends are only people who accompany us for a while after all.
you are the only one who can accompany you to the end of the walk.
if you are useless, no one can stand a chance.
like this sentence very much:
Life is like an exercise book, with both simple and difficult problems. Everyone has their own problems to solve, and no one can open the way for you.
We always want someone to be around like a timely rain when we need help.
but the relationship between people is very realistic, which can be described in one sentence: when you are down, you have the least friends.
Don't expect others to be reliable.
in the movie "Flying Life", the man starring Shen Teng, who used to be a famous racing champion.
but he was banned from participating illegally for five years in order to register a child who was not related by blood.
he never gave up his dream of racing in the past five years, and finally in the sixth year, he wanted to return to the race.
he asked his former teammates to borrow a car, but no one was willing to help him. He called and the other party was either busy at work or on vacation.
he went to rent a car from the former team manager, who refused his request for fear that the sponsor would be unhappy.
once a good colleague and a good teammate, he is a brother who fought side by side with Zhang Chi and has experienced countless splendors.
now that Zhang Chi has revoked his driver's license and lost his qualification for five years, he has lost the scenery of the past and has become a person who lives on fried rice.
these people stayed away, turning a blind eye to his request for help.
it can be seen that when a person is worthless, there are almost none of the people who are willing to give you timely help.
Human nature is like this. When you are beautiful, you all want to be close to you; when you are lonely, you want to stay away from you.
relationships between people are as fragile as plastic, especially friendships made in good times are often not strong.
think of a sentence Adam Smith said:
No one in this world can really empathize with another person's pain. You have ten thousand arrows piercing your heart, you are in agony, and it is only your business.
when you encounter difficulties, people are more likely to walk with cold bitterness, so don't expect anyone to give you timely help.
as the old saying goes, "asking for help is like swallowing a three-foot sword, relying on others is like nine heavens."
on the way of life, we always encounter some wind and frost and experience some rain and snow.
at this time, instead of thinking about using the eaves of others, you should learn to hold your own umbrella.
it is better to rely on others than to rely on yourself
Alan is a rural girl from a poor family. After graduating from high school, she was admitted to a junior college, but her family had no money to support her.
even though she really wanted to go to school, she gave in and followed her father to set up a stall because of the obstruction of the whole family.
Alan goes out early and returns late every day, and often helps unload cargo and do heavy work.
her father did not give her a salary, but only gave her a few hundred living expenses every month. She worked for her family all the year round, but she didn't save a penny.
Alan is not reconciled to selling coolies like this all her life. She wants to go out, earn more money and live the life she wants.
so she went to her cousin who works in Chengdu.
she hit a brick wall everywhere when she started looking for a job and finally settled down in a milk tea shop.
the salary of the milk tea shop is not high, but because she works very hard, the salary increases faster than others.
later, she found that the milk tea shop made a lot of money. She felt that she should not only get paid, but also learn the mode of operation and accumulate experience.
when others are busy and go to rest, she will take the initiative to find something to do, how to manage the staff, how to run the store, she will learn.
two years later, she was promoted to store manager.
later, she helped the boss's friends manage the new store, and she successfully bought a stake in the new store because she was appreciated by the other side because of her strong management ability.
now, seven years later, she has become a partner in four milk tea shops.
thinking back to Alan, if he hadn't come out of his hometown, he would have stayed with his father for the rest of his life as a small unloader.
most of us are ordinary people like Alan, with no strong family background and strong connections.
what we can do is to live the life we want with our own hands in this bustling world.
as the old saying goes, "it is better to rely on others than on yourself"
rely on what other people get, just
like a kite, if you don't wrap the thread around your hand, it will never run.
but always have a sense of insecurity, may also face the embarrassment of kite disconnection at any time.
only what you get by your own efforts is completely your own.
as the Pirates of the Caribbean says:
"the meaning of life is much more than survival. The real skill is to learn to live on your own forever."
if life is a vast ocean, then the one who is in control of his own ship can only be himself.
be your own dignitaries before you can reap dignitaries
there is a saying on the Internet: "Real connections are never those who can help you, but those you can help."
when you have no value to use, naturally no one wants to get close to you.
only when you first make yourself strong and become your own dignitaries, will someone become your dignitaries.
when her mother Xiaotong took care of her children full-time at home, she used to earn her living expenses by selling goods on moments.
but later, she was invited to become a parent-child counselor and psychological counselor, and her monthly salary increased many times.
it's all because of the help of dignitaries.
after Xiao Tong gave birth to a baby, he began to learn all kinds of parenting knowledge. He not only bought a large number of books to learn, but also actively participated in offline parenting lectures, salons, and so on, and sought advice from many parenting teachers.
although she is busy with her children, she never misses a class. every time she attends a lecture, Xiaotong actively participates in the interaction, shares her learning experiences with everyone, and carefully takes notes and sends them to the teacher after class.
she will buy and study all the books that the teacher has shared, and she will thoroughly eat the knowledge points in the book and tell them by analogy.
teacher Tan, who works as an offline lecture lecturer, saw that Xiaotong had such a strong learning ability, so she instructed her to apply for a psychological counselor.
then let her take part in the training of parent-child counselor and get the certificate of parent-child counselor.
then, teacher Tan provided Xiaotong with a lot of resources and channels to share lessons, and she can often teach online and offline.
in this way, Xiaotong successfully gathered a wave of fans.
later, teacher Tan was promoted to be in charge and invited Xiaotong to join the enterprise. Xiaotong returned to work and became a working mother.
it was Xiaotong's love of learning that made teacher Tan find her from among the many students and was willing to help her.
it can be seen that it is not difficult to make friends with dignitaries, it depends on your ability to attract dignitaries.
there is a seesaw law in psychology:
the relationship between people is like two sides on a seesaw.
if the relationship is to be maintained for a long time, both sides need to be evenly matched. If one side is too strong and the other is too weak, the relationship will be out of balance.
the essence of interpersonal relationships is an "equivalent exchange", and only when they see your value will they come to you.
therefore, the most effective "shortcut" to make friends with dignitaries is to become an honorable person first.
like this sentence very much:
"Don't take other people's maps and find your own way. You are the one who answers your own questions."
Life has a long way to go, either full of thorns or gravel, but in any case, you have to take it one step at a time.
when you encounter difficulties, what others can give you is only temporary comfort. And the only one who can really help you is yourself.
if you are timid, no one can be brave for you; if you flinch, no one can move forward for you.
when walking in the world, only one's own value is the strength to resist everything.
for the rest of my life, may you and I be at the helm of our lives, fearless of wind and rain, and at ease.