Why do some couples have more and more feelings?
Why do some couples have more and more feelings?
A good marriage is a kind of mutual achievement and mutual growth.


do you agree? Marriage is like a rubber band in your hand.

the harder the two sides pull, the more they are unwilling to make changes for each other, the belt may be broken because of excessive strength, and both sides will be hurt.

Marriage is a choice. The most valuable thing is not that we have chosen each other among many choices, but that no matter how long it takes, we will still choose each other among many choices.

so firmly choose each other's marriage, is that the couple found a suitable way to get along with each other, through ups and downs, there is still only each other in their eyes.

it is hard to avoid stumbling between husband and wife, but knowing how to adjust and take the initiative to improve intimate relationship is what we call "flexible marriage" today.

what is flexible marriage?

I have heard such a story.

Quebec, Canada has a north-south valley. There is nothing special about the valley. The only thing that attracts people's attention is that its east slope is completely different from the west slope.

the west slope is covered with pine, juniper, cypress, privet and other trees, while on the east slope there is only cedar. It was a couple who discovered this strange phenomenon.

it was the winter of 1983, and the couple's marriage was on the verge of falling apart. in order to find their former love, they decided to take a romantic trip and break up amicably if they couldn't get it back.

when they came to the valley, it snowed heavily, and when they hid in the tent, they found that because of the wind, the snow on the east slope was always thicker than that on the west slope.

after a while, the cedar branches on the east slope were covered with snow, but when the thick snow covered the branches, the elastic branches of the cedar would "bend over" and send the snow to the ground. Over and over again, the cedar is intact.

the wife in the tent found this and said:

"there should have been other tree species before Dongpo, but only cedars can 'bend and bow', so they survived."

speaking of this, the couple looked at each other as if they understood something, and then they hugged each other with tears in their eyes.

the relationship between the two people before the trip is broken precisely because they do not bend and bow to each other, adhere to their own style and do not consider each other's feelings, and the two are physically and mentally exhausted to this point.

writer Liu Yong once said:

"Love needs opportunity, marriage needs wisdom."

this flexible marriage model similar to cedar is a marriage full of wisdom, which we call it: flexible marriage.

the elasticity of marriage will not only effectively resolve contradictions and conflicts in life, but also form a kind of intimate relationship between husband and wife with strong relaxation and strong self-healing ability.

A long-term marriage requires flexibility

there is a famous saying in psychological circles:

"short-term love depends on similarity, long-term love depends on change."

the same is true of marriage, which requires two people to change each other in order to stay together for a long time.

they make their wandering life full of fun. Many people envy the deep affection that they never leave each other.

they are Shen Fu and Yun Niang in six stories of a floating Life.

in their marriage, the most moving thing is not only their calm and optimistic attitude towards life, but also their willingness to constantly adjust themselves, to change themselves for each other, and to meet each other's inner needs.

Shen Fu didn't like the smell of stewed melon and fermented bean curd, but because Yun Niang liked it, he was willing to take the initiative to try, and finally fell in love with these two kinds of food.

in order to satisfy Yun Niang's desire to go out, Shen Fu disregarded the secular vision and dressed Yun Niang as a man, and the two visited the temple fair together.

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No matter how hard life is later, Yun Niang will respect his preferences and support his ideas with practical actions.

in order to enable Shen Fu to taste wine and discuss poems with her friends, she came up with the idea of warming wine with wonton, and took great pains to prepare it, causing everyone to praise her little trick.

it is precisely because I have you in my heart and me in your heart that we can make changes for each other's preferences, even if the living conditions are poor, the road to love can be long.

A partner who knows how to take the initiative to adjust a relationship gives marriage enough flexibility to smooth out all the wrinkles of life and endure the unhappiness of the rest of life.

flexibility will make the marriage happier

in life, some marriages are so tense that they are tense all the time, fall apart when they quarrel, and never leave room for manoeuvre.

in a flexible marriage, there is no difference between strength and weakness, only mutual respect and understanding, tolerance and support.

there is a problem with Zhihu:

"what kind of marriage is enviable?"

Zhihu netizen Qiyou told a story of his own.

she teaches in a university and her husband works in a design company.

although the salary of teachers is not high, they have stable establishment and income, and they are also in the period of career rise.

and the students like her teaching very much, she feels very satisfied with the job and often enjoys it.

when asked why, the normally rough man smiled and said:

"who is different from the couple in raising children? The important thing is that I can do my own work even if I don't go to work. If you go home and take care of the children, your work will stop completely. "

hearing what her husband said, she couldn't help reddening her eyes when she was worried.

Florence Isaacs said:

"commitment is the basis for a happy and long-term marriage.


Marriage is a matter for two people, not to be held back by the roles in the marriage, but to be tolerant, concession and good at adjustment, so that we can get closer and closer to a happy marriage.

intimacy is that in mutual support and shared commitment, it becomes stronger and stronger, and the two people will be happier.

to have a flexible marriage, you need to do the following five points

Wu Danru said:

"Marriage is like carving jade. It is not whose jade is better, but who spends more thought and whose sculptor is unique."

only two people who are willing to make adjustments to their marriage will reap more continuous happiness.

husband and wife adjust the following points, which may help you understand "flexible marriage" and reap happiness for the rest of your life:

adjust pay and dependence

Marriage is mutual support, not relying on the efforts of someone.

Marriage is not an one-man show. Only when husband and wife work together and strive for a common goal, can marriage be run smoothly.

at the same time, you need to have the ability to live independently, not to rely too much on each other, and to grasp the strength of marriage between giving and relying on.

adjust relationships and communication

whether before or after marriage, the relationship between two people who love each other is equal;

unequal relationships often lead to incomplete communication.

at the same time, marriage needs "nonsense communication". Only when you say a word can you inject fireworks into life.

like the gentle words in the Little Prince:

"I wasted my time on you to make you precious."

husband and wife "waste time" on each other, in fact, I care about you.

adjust requirements and roles

husband and wife can love each other, but don't be too demanding.

demanding on each other is actually shortening the "life span of marriage".

Life is full of variables, and we don't always play a role in marriage.

even if there are changes in life, you must have the courage to shoulder the burden of the family immediately.

adjust atmosphere and space

marital relationship is a part of the whole extended family relationship, the atmosphere of family relationship is appropriate, the small life of husband and wife will be comfortable.

A smart partner knows how to leave a blank for a relationship. Husband and wife not only enjoy the freedom without bondage, but also feel the strong love of each other.

just like Huang Lei and Sun Li, model couples in the entertainment industry, they are very happy together, and when they are not together, they each find their own happiness.

adjust money and security

running a marriage is like steering a sailboat. Fuel and a strong hull are the guarantee of marriage.

Marriage needs money, and there are some intangible resources to protect the future.

there will be risks in sailing. Only by judging the hour and sizing up the situation in advance and being prepared to face the risks can the sailboat set sail.

there is a passage in the meaning of Marriage:

"A happy marriage does not allow people to choose between self-fulfillment and self-sacrifice, but to achieve each other through mutual sacrifice."

Marriage is a dynamic process. There is no marriage that has to be divorced, only a marriage that does not know how to deal with problems flexibly.

flexibility is the secret of a happy marriage. Only a couple who learns to handle a marriage flexibly can be a couple who get along well with each other for a long time.

writer Roland once said:

"you don't have to be reluctant to love, but be responsible for marriage." Love and marriage are two things: love is free, while marriage is morality and responsibility. "

in order to have a happier marriage and change for each other, it is the performance of due diligence in marriage.

A good marriage is a kind of mutual achievement and mutual growth.

We work together to experience the ups and downs of life, once again confirm with each other what is love, what is love, in the process we will also understand the true meaning of marriage.

May we have a gentle and determined partner and a marriage full of wisdom and strength.