The truth of marriage: it's not a harbor, it's rivers and lakes.
The truth of marriage: it's not a harbor, it's rivers and lakes.
Life is an Ashram daily practice, years such as running water polish for a long time.


"what are you most afraid of right now?"

"afraid of marriage."

The answer in just three words has attracted tens of thousands of likes.

the Social Survey Center of China Youth Daily also conducted a survey with the questionnaire website. The results showed that 61.2% of the respondents had a tendency to be afraid of marriage, and 8% admitted that they were extremely afraid of marriage.

this probably confirms what Qian Zhongshu said: marriage is a besieged city. People in the city want to get out, and people outside the city want to go in.

but with the decrease in the marriage rate and the rise in the divorce rate in the past two years, people in the city have come up with more and more ideas, and people outside the city do not feel much want to go in.

people's desire for marriage is quietly decreasing because they have seen too many struggles and breakups in marriage.

in fact, it is not the marriage that has changed, but the person who has changed.

people's expectations of marriage are too high, they always hope that it is a harbor for themselves to rely on, but they never think that marriage needs someone to protect it.

if everyone only wants a piece of the marriage, the relationship will fall apart sooner or later.

you have to understand that marriage needs not only sweet words, but also the loyalty of husband and wife to treat each other with sincerity.

the spirit of rivers and lakes is the courage to be in the same boat through wind and rain

in 1983, the fledgling Liang Jiahui won the Academy Award for "hanging the Curtain and listening to the Government."

I thought my career would be plain sailing, but later, my career was blocked again and again.

forced to make a living, he set up a stall.

Just then, Jiang Jiannian, a producer at a radio station in Hong Kong, appeared.

she was duty-bound to invite Liang Jiahui to record a radio play.

in the face of pressure from all sides, she said: "if something goes wrong, I am responsible."

in this way, the two hit it off. Acquaintance, fall in love, walked into the hall of marriage.

Not long after marriage, with the help of Chow Yun-fat and Tsui Hark, Liang Jiahui started filming again.

while filming the movie "Lover" in Vietnam, Leung Ka-fai was kidnapped and threatened to shoot for them.

"the door was crashed open, and the other side was armed with a gun, and one of them kept holding a gun to my head." Liang Jiahui recalled that.

however, Jiang Jiannian, who was with her, showed great composure and bravery.

she first called Liang Jiahui to comfort him not to be afraid. On the other hand, she went to see the triad leader alone and had a difficult negotiation with him before Leung Jiahui was able to return to Hong Kong.

earlier, Jiang Jiannian put on weight due to illness, and some media made a fuss about it, mocking the actor's wife as an "ugly wife."

in the face of media bombardment, Liang Jiahui held Jiang Jiannian's hand tightly every time he went on a trip.

his domineering response:

No beautiful woman is as attractive as my wife. Without her, I would not be what I am today.

The only reason I can work hard to this day is that I made an oath to my wife that I would make them the happiest people in the world in this life.

all the love words in the world are not counted. The most reliable thing is to hold each other's hands tightly in times of crisis.

Marriage needs another kind of bond in addition to love, and the toughest one is not children, nor interests and money, but righteousness that treats each other with all sincerity.

Yang Lan's sentence is the best description of Liang Jiahui and Jiang Jiannian.

Marriage is a small boat sailing on the vast sea, often facing undercurrents and wind and rain.

but as long as you are willing to be the one who steers and oars for each other, the ship will never break or collapse.

the so-called "wind and rain in the same boat" is the best annotation of "jianghu spirit" in marriage.

jianghu gas is the atmosphere of human experience

in marriage, you should not only have the courage to shine your sword, but also know how to deal with the world.

Yi Nengjing is a person who knows a lot about marriage.

it is said that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, but Yi Nengjing has her own methodology.

in life, in order to keep fit, she and her husband Qin Hao often eat salad, but her mother-in-law is not used to it. She found her mother-in-law's dilemma and got up to cook again.

Qin Hao said: "the meal is almost finished, forget it."

she was determined: "I'll cook a meal for my mother."

for her mother-in-law, she always obeys filial piety. But she never "obeys" her mother-in-law without a bottom line.

once, her mother-in-law went shopping to buy clothes. She made a dozen phone calls with Qin Hao, but her mother-in-law did not answer. The couple searched anxiously for a long time.

finally found her mother-in-law, Yi Nengjing also pretended to be angry and reminded: "never answer the phone, do you know how worried we are?" Mom is just a little fool. "

A few words not only expressed their concern, but also secretly set the rules for their mother-in-law.

I have to say that Yi Nengjing is a wise woman in marriage.

when you fall in love, the life is lived by two people, three meals a day, small fights are only related to two people.

once you get married, the days become two families, not only the roles have to be changed, but even the emotional intelligence in life has to be subconsciously practiced.

an expression, an action, and a trivial matter may all be magnified into a fuse of contradiction. If at this time, you do not have the blessings of the worldly people, there will be more and more ups and downs in the days.

therefore, in marriage, it is not advisable to be submissive or to be outspoken.

We need to constantly practice interpersonal communication in marriage, not only to pursue the "Tao" in marriage, but also to focus on the "art" of human feelings.

A good marriage practices in its own ashram

the rivers and lakes of marriage are not all the companions of the world of mortals, and sometimes you need to enjoy being alone and find your own scenery.

in her book I dare to be alone in your arms, Liu Ruoying describes her married life with her husband in this way:

two people go out together, go to different cinemas and watch different movies;

two people go home together, one to the left and the other to the right;

both have their own bedrooms, shared kitchens and dining rooms.

sounds strange, but in fact, she and her husband have a very good relationship.

it's a state of marriage that makes the two of them very comfortable: love each other, but don't let love become a shackle.

as Gibran said: "leave some space between the ears and temples for each other so that the wind of heaven can dance in the middle."

because no one in the world will understand you 100%, even if that person is your partner every day.

you must learn to play with yourself.

you have your Leonardo, he has his LeBron James;

you have your cafe and afternoon tea, and he has his gym and football field.

the best intimate relationship is when two worlds open their doors and welcome each other to visit, but not drag each other to become a member of their own world.

you are not responsible for the beauty of marriage, I am in charge of fighting on the battlefield, but everyone has "single strength".

what is "single strength"? That is, even if you get married and have a lifelong partner, you still have the ability to remain single.

Marriage has never been, you have a bottom person, because in this world, no one is absolutely your life to rely on.

people always have to fulfill themselves.

in the early years, Yang Mi was asked if she would discuss buying a house for her parents with her husband. She replied arrogantly, "No, because I can afford it!"

this kind of strength may also be the reason why she still led a healthy life after her divorce.

single strength will never let you and your partner go further and farther away, but will become the magic weapon of your marriage.

Wu Jing invested a lot of money in filming. When the road ahead was bleak, his wife, Xie Nan, said, "it's a big deal. I sold my house to support you."

this is the strength brought by Xie Nan's "single strength".

after marriage, Xie Nan is not a full-time wife, but a career and family. In addition to hosting, she is also constantly trying new fields.

single couples are like two flowing rivers that feed each other, nourish each other, and finally achieve each other.

I have always liked the intimate relationship described by Shu Ting in to the Oak Tree:

only when I stand with you in the image of a tree, can I share the cold wave, the wind and thunder, the mist and the rainbow, and be accompanied by each other.

Life is an Ashram daily practice, years like running water polishing for a long time.

Marriage is a world of love and hate and pain and struggle.

there is a peak showdown, draw a sword and shine a sword;

there are jokes and scolding, ups and downs.

, may you and I no longer regard marriage as a harbor, but develop the courage to go it alone and have the chivalrous spirit to treat each other with all our hearts.

in this way, there must be more and more people who are not afraid of marriage and are quarrelling to find out in this marriage.

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