Tolerance is not only a kind of bearing, but also a kind of pattern.
Zhang Chao, a scholar in the Qing Dynasty, divided life into three realms:
the first is to see the moon through the window, the second is to see the moon in the courtyard, and the third is to play with the moon on a high platform.
the height at which a person stands and the depth of his thoughts determine his mind and bearing.
people with small patterns tend to be trapped in an inch of land and sink in trivialities.
people with large patterns are calm and open-minded, do not argue when things happen, do not evade when they are in distress, and do not blame others when they make mistakes.
Don't argue when something happens
in ancient times, there was a tea shop, and the shopkeeper repaired it quite deeply, which was a famous respect.
once, a businessman came to the door with a basket of tea for inquiry. after looking at it, the shop assistant immediately replied, "its leaves are thin, like silver thread, which is good white tea."Unexpectedly, the businessman did not believe it and insisted that his tea was ordinary loose tea.
the man was so anxious that he took out the samples from the store and tried to convince each other that the quarrel between the two men was getting louder and louder, and the other side even began to denigrate the tea shop.
at this time, the shopkeeper came out and the businessman held on to his theory again.
the shopkeeper glanced at the tea and said faintly, "you are quite right, this is ordinary loose tea."
the other party was finally satisfied and laughed and left.
it is hard to believe that the man asked the shopkeeper, "aren't you confusing black and white? he is obviously ignorant of the goods and is looking for trouble."
the shopkeeper explained, "since this man doesn't understand, you naturally can't convince him to see him angry. If you go on arguing, you will only fight. What good will it do to us?"
think about it.
you can never change a person by arguing, just like you can't let a peach tree bear a pear or a pear tree bear a peach.
people at different levels don't argue with them; don't bother to defend things that don't matter.
people with a large pattern do not care about the immediate win or lose, nor do they place themselves in the whirlpool of right and wrong.
the famous painter Huang Yongyu didn't get along well with Fan Zeng, another painter with great attainments.
Fan had a hot temper, scolded Huang Yongyu many times on various occasions, and even vilified Huang Yongyu into a dog in his own paintings.
he also wrote various approvals to satirize Huang Yongyu, and his words were full of gunpowder.
but Huang Yongyu seldom responds. He is still immersed in his own world and indulges in his own creation.
Laozi once said, "
those who are gentle do not argue, and those who are good at winning do not argue.
"The higher the
, the less likely he is to be quick and spend himself on unnecessary trifles.
but manage yourself silently, hold on to your goals, and move on to the holy land in your heart.
Don't avoid being in distress
host Bai Yansong once said in a speech that he had asked his students to choose the most impressive sentence in the moral Classic.
as a result, most people chose this sentence in Chapter 23:
"the wind does not end, showers do not last all day."
when the suffering of life hits you in the face, you will think that the end of the world has come.
but when you grit your teeth and work hard, the sky will clear up again after the storm
not long ago, Yao Zhigang, a 51-year-old takeout in Changsha, became popular.
in the first half of his life, he was the president of a glorious bank. later, when his business failed, he lost all his possessions, lived in a different place, and made a living by delivering takeout.
A yellow uniform, a scooter and a food delivery box have become his new standard.
when he fell to the mud from heaven and was burdened with huge debts, his heart was once reduced to ashes.
if you were an ordinary person, you might sit on the ground and never think of it again.
but instead of feeling sorry for himself, he devoted himself to his new job with enthusiasm.
at first, because he was not familiar with the terrain, he often went the wrong way. Later, every time he delivered food, he would write down the location of the business district and rehearse various routes in his mind.
he also made a self-made pick-up map, marking hundreds of businesses nearby.
in his first month in office, Yao Zhigang sent out 1580 orders and became a veritable "single king." in the fourth month, he became the stationmaster of the distribution station.
in the interview, Yao Zhigang said with a smile that the next goal in life, he wants to be promoted to become a regional manager.
failed to start a business, fell into the darkest moment of life, and then to the twists and turns, new vitality appeared in life.
looking back on his experience along the way, Yao Zhigang said firmly: "it's not terrible to fall, as long as you can get up. There is more than one definition of life, and you can't start all over again."
this man over 50 years old, with his wisdom and tenacity, has opened up a new world for life.
the owl of writer Lao Yang said:
"Life is like bungee jumping, from jumping to freefall, every step is difficult and requires great courage and patience, but you are sure that everything will be all right from beginning to end."
Yes, the most benevolent part of life is that he gives excuses to those who are lazy and escapes, and always gives entry to those who are self-reliant.
when people go against heaven, there is no way for people to go against heaven.
the weak complain, they are trapped all the time, and the strong cross by themselves, there will be a way out.
people who are really powerful can hone strong vitality in the midst of suffering.
do not blame others for mistakes
Mr. Carnegie, the father of successful education, once attended a lecture, but he took out his speech and just read it.A few lines, the audience burst into laughter.
it turned out that the secretary had loaded the wrong speech.
he tried to endure embarrassment, calmed himself down quickly, and then said humorously, "before the speech, I'll joke with everyone, and then I'll officially begin."
then, with his own reserves, he talked eloquently to resolve this small crisis.
after the speech, Carnegie only said to the secretary in a relaxed tone:
"I was going to talk about" how to get rid of melancholy and create Harmony "today, but I was reading a passage on how to make cows produce milk, but you gave me the freedom to play better."
there is no reproach between words.
there is a saying: ""
there is no need to be harsh on others, but to be harsh is to be far away.
people with profound virtues often have the mind of accepting all rivers and know how to cultivate themselves in tolerance.
Cao Dewang once mentioned in an interview that he was beaten out of his hometown by the villagers.On the contrary, after he successfully started his business, he invested NT $500000 every year in building ancestral halls, roads and nursing homes, trying his best to improve the lives of the villagers.
someone came to apologize, but he waved his hand and said:
"in fact, I am very grateful to you. If it had not been for you, I would not have run out and would not have achieved what I am now."
there is an old saying: "only leniency can tolerate people, only thickness can carry things."
tolerance is not only a kind of bearing, but also a kind of pattern.
only by being able to tolerate the faults of others can we broaden our minds; if we can pretend the faults of others, we can better gather the hearts of the people.
the movie Forrest Gump says:
"Life is a process of constantly weeding out, slowly knowing what is important and what is not."
when a person has seen a high mountain and sea, the right and wrong in front of him is as small as dust.
other people's mistakes, current gains and losses, and current difficulties are all the cornerstones of sharpening one's own mind.
, when you regard suffering as spiritual practice and grievance as temper, the road ahead will suddenly be clear.