May friends learn to focus, give up wisdom and live a lighter life.
what is the experience of being "coerced" by a nightgown?
Dennis Diderot, an 18th century French philosopher, had a say.
one day, he received a gift from a friend, a beautiful nightgown.
Diderot liked it so much that he threw away his old robe and paced the house in his new nightgown.
however, he always feels that something is wrong:
I felt that the desk was dilapidated and the carpet was rough, as if everything could not match this well-made nightgown.
he threw away the old furniture, replaced the new carpet and renovated the house inside and outside.
I thought I would be happier because of this, but I didn't expect that I was only tired.
then he realized that he had been "coerced" by a nightgown.
economists call this behavior the "Diderot effect", which refers to
after people own an item, they will continue to configure more items to adapt to it, in order to achieve psychological balance.
if you want to keep your heart firm at all times, you can't be held back by impulse.
because pursuing blindly will only drain your energy in vain.
when you have an item,
objects are also "possessing" you
in this era of rapid development, all kinds of promotional activities emerge in endlessly.
No matter what holiday it is, you can always hear the shouts of merchants.
as a result, many people do not look at their actual needs and move home when they meet what they like.
do not realize that when you are crazy with things, things also occupy and dominate you:
more and more clothes are bought, and the cabinets can't fit in, so they simply throw them in the corner, resulting in an increasingly cramped space at home.
more and more shoes are piled up and the room is in a mess. It takes a lot of time to make up your mind to clean up.
before you know it, your money is losing and your time is being consumed, but the resulting happiness is not superimposed.
I have heard such a story.
the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates had many students. One day, the students told him that there were many good things in the bazaar and that they would return with a full load.
Socrates went to the market, but came back empty-handed.
the students were surprised and hurriedly asked him why.
"my biggest gain from this trip is to find that there are so many things in this world that I don't need."
for Socrates, if you don't buy things you don't need, you can keep your inner peace and not be burdened by external things.
historian Huang Zongxi once said: "less desire feels light."
if one's desires are all material, the spirit may become barren and barren;
if a person's energy is devoted to fame and wealth, his body and mind may become exhausted.
on the contrary, a person who follows fame and fortune will not be distracted from superfluous and useless things, so he can always travel light and live a refreshing and sensible life.
Don't fall into the "birdcage effect"At the beginning of the 20th century, psychologist James bet with a friend that he could get his friend to keep a bird.
of course, my friend doesn't believe it. He neither likes keeping birds, nor does he need to keep birds, let alone plans to change this habit.
until he received the birdcage from James and hung it at home.
when people come to his house and see the empty birdcage, they will ask him, "where are the birds?" Why hang a birdcage? "At first, he patiently explained why.
was asked so much later that he simply bought a bird to make the existence of the birdcage reasonable.James won the bet. He affected his friend's mood, changed his friend's mind and interfered with his friend's life with a birdcage.
in fact, in the beginning, friends didn't need this birdcage at all.
but once he chose to take it, he began to be led by the nose by the birdcage.This is the famous "birdcage effect" in psychology.
things like this are not uncommon in real life.
originally, you didn't need to buy anything, but a company gave you some companion gifts, and then you bought matching products.
originally, you didn't like playing games, but a friend gave you a game handle, which felt good, and then you bought a series of games.
when the money in your account slowly decreases and the sundries at home increase day by day, you are surprised to feel that you are caught in the birdcage effect.
Madame Curie has always been sober on this point.
after she married her husband, she moved to a new house.
the style of home is simple and simple, and the reception room has only one table and two chairs.
Father intended to give them a set of luxurious and exquisite furniture, including sofas and soft chairs, but Madame Curie refused.
her husband's proposal of "adding a chair" was also rejected by her.
in Madame Curie's view, with sofas and soft chairs, you need to spend a lot of cleaning time; if you have one more chair, you need to spend a lot of time socializing.
although they are poorly equipped and do not have many friends, they are calm and rich in heart, leaving a lot of valuable research results for later generations.
in fact, the best way to get rid of the birdcage effect is to learn to control yourself.
in terms of material needs, they have their own choices, rather than being bound by external standards;
In the pursuit of life, you have your own direction, rather than swinging from side to side and being influenced by the voices of others.
when you can clearly know what you want and keep your original mind and center of gravity, you can eliminate external interference and live a real freedom.
is to learn to focus, not to give up.
when it comes to separation, many people think of "throwing" aggressively and "throwing" without nostalgia.
in fact, this is not the real meaning of breakup.
if you don't have a plan in your mind and your life is disorganized, an item you throw away may not reduce the burden, but will only increase your annoyance.
sundries management consultant Hideko Yamashita said:
"divorce is to get to know yourself by packing up your things, sort out your inner chaos, and make your life into a comfortable behavior technology."
the real separation is not simply giving up things, but deliberately focusing on yourself and making your life comfortable.
make a list and make your life regular
A friend told me that she didn't make a shopping list and bought what she liked, but it caused a lot of trouble.
for example, if you buy a bell pendant and go home and find that there is no good-looking backpack, you will place an order for a non-essential backpack.
when she starts to make a shopping list and makes purchases based on whether she can use it or not, she will be able to stay awake in the face of a dazzling array of goods.
not only that, she will make a daily list, write down her schedule for the day in advance, and stick to it.
at the end of the day, you can arrange your work, entertainment, fitness, etc., in a well-organized and fulfilling way.
there is a saying: "you live your life as you spend your day."
to make life comfortable and simple, you can't live without scientific planning, otherwise you will be busy all day without a sense of harvest in your heart.
you might as well use the "list" to clarify the content of your life, and when you focus on your schedule for the day, you can stay focused and not be distracted by other things.
distinguish between primary and secondary, so that the behavior has a center of gravity
what if there are so many things on the list that people are dizzying?
this story may inspire you.
in class, a professor took out a glass jar, put more than a dozen big stones in it, and asked the students, "is this jar full?"
the students all said, "full."Unexpectedly, the professor put in a bucket of gravel, a jar of sand and water in turn.
he reminds students that if the order is reversed, everything else cannot be put in without putting a boulder first.
the students suddenly realized.
for us, in the face of complicated arrangements, we must first find our own "big stone", that is, the most important thing at the moment.
only by grasping the center of gravity, establishing axis thinking, and reducing the influence of the outside world, can we focus on the present and continue to gain the energy of growth.
reduce consumption and keep order in mind
once met such a girl with a sensitive and delicate character.
always doubt yourself because of a word of others, and feel uneasy because of a look in other people's eyes.
she couldn't bear the nuisance, so she went to the teacher for advice.The teacher suggested that she try to establish a stable inner order and focus on her true self.
in fact, many of other people's words and deeds are unintentional.
what is really terrible is always the heart that cares.
because he takes it too seriously, he often uses it to torture himself and cause mental exhaustion.
if you always live in the eyes of others, you will eventually get lost in your own heart.
the greatest charm of a person is always to walk on the right path and live out his true self.
learn to cherish yourself, then accept yourself, and then refine yourself, so that you can avoid self-friction and move forward firmly.
likes a sentence very much:
"We were so eager for the waves of fate that we finally found that the most beautiful scenery in life was the calmness and calmness of our hearts."
A happy life is often simple, which is to focus on the present and focus on the present.
when you don't waste your time on irrelevant things and don't spend your attention on distractions, you can naturally live a self-discipline and a shining life.
, may friends learn to focus, give up wisdom and live a lighter life.
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