No one is perfect, everyone has shortcomings.
I have heard a very interesting analogy: "A happy marriage is made by a blind woman and a deaf man."
looks like a joke, but it makes sense to think about it.
in a family, if two people are serious, the life is too tiring and the marriage will not last.
and most of those who have a successful marriage have learned to play dumb.
play dumb, not pander, but respect
there is a blogger who tells her parents' marriage story on the Internet, which is very interesting.
her parents have been married for 25 years and have been very happy, which is the envy of the people around her.
her mother is a beauty lover and often buys new clothes without telling her father.
if you buy new clothes, you will not wear them immediately. Instead, you will cut off the hanging tags of new clothes and secretly put them in the cupboard for several days and then take them out and wear them.
when the father asked, bought the new clothes?
Mother replied, "No, I've bought it for a long time."
my father smiled and didn't care, but he knew in his heart that this was a new dress bought by his mother.
on weekends, my father sometimes uses the excuse of working overtime in the study, but actually closes the door and secretly plays games.
Mother doesn't say anything, and sometimes she washes the fruit and sends it in.
when she was a child, she never understood why her parents knew each other was lying, but they didn't expose it.She didn't understand until she got married.
two people get married together, not go to prison.
you can't get to the bottom of everything and be clear.
to play dumb, to respect each other, too much calculation and calculation, life will not be interesting.
as Professor Zeng Shiqiang said:
keep your eyes open before marriage, and turn a blind eye after marriage.
in this way, it is easy for everyone to live a good life. It is definitely not to deceive ourselves, but to respect both sides.
No one can stand being picky, as long as you are picky, there must be something wrong with the other person.
after a person has made a careful choice, you should not be picky and picky.
it's not easy to choose a person and have a problem with him every day, but you have a problem with yourself.
and since she and her husband learned the secret of their parents' happy marriage, they found that life can be so beautiful.
pretending to be stupid in marriage is not hypocrisy and pandering to each other, but mutual respect.
Yes, marriage is like a double spring, playing dumb and stupefied together can be a lot of fun.
those small hobbies and small things that do not violate the principle and bottom line.
take a step back from each other and solve the trifles of life by pretending to be stupid.
play dumb, not be reasonable, but talk about love
there is a topic on the Internet:
"what happened to men who like to reason with their wives?"
here is a highly liked answer:
"most of the men who like to reason with their wives become ex-husbands. Please go to court for reason. Home is a place to talk about love."
reveals the truth of a happy marriage:
Home is a place of love, not a place of reason.
there are so many things in life, ranging from what to eat for dinner today, to what kindergarten children attend and whether or not to sign up for extracurricular classes.
teeth and tongue still fight and collide, not to mention two people living together.
many things are never right or wrong, and there is no need to argue about right or wrong.
wins reason, loses affection, it's not worth it.
Chen Ming once talked about one of his personal experiences.
once, he went shopping with his wife.
his wife has her eye on a bag and wants to buy it.
when his wife was looking at the bag, he peeked at the label next to it. The price of the bag was more expensive.
Chen Ming pulled his wife aside behind the back of the shopping guide and talked a lot of reasons, saying that thrift is a virtue, the economic situation of the family, the advantages of supporting domestic products, and so on.
he thought he had convinced his wife, but her wife blinked and asked him whether his principles were more important or her.
what can Chen Ming do?
I can only swipe my bank card obediently and buy the expensive bag that my wife likes.
Chen Ming is the champion of strange words, and he is eloquent in the debate arena. Can't he really argue with his wife?
the ancients said that the way of saints should not be disputed for the sake of it.
and the way of marriage is even more so.
if two people get along with each other in marriage, no matter how good the relationship is, it will wear away if they argue about right or wrong everywhere.
in fact, whether or not to buy this bag is a better choice for them at the moment.
but Chen Ming pretended to argue foolishly but his wife bought the bag to make her happy.
it is difficult for a daughter to buy the habit of loving his wife, and the wife is more important than reason.
as an online saying goes:
"No one is a fool. It's just that sometimes we choose to play dumb and feel what's called happiness. "
play dumb, not give in, but love
watching Pi, Lin Dawei and Wang Shengnan left a deep impression on me.
husband Lin Dawei is kind and honest, while his wife Wang Shengnan is quick-tempered, hot-tempered, a little neat and often nagging her husband.
"toothpaste must be squeezed from the middle, do not change your pants for a few days, get up without making a quilt, and chirp your mouth when you eat.. "
Lin Dawei never answered his wife's accusations and said with a smile, "you have a point."
some people say that Lin Dawei is so spineless that he succumbs to his wife with a posture of "bowing his head and weighing his ears". His wife is what she says.
in fact, this is a skill for him to deal with conflicts in family life, pretending to be stupid.
I can't hear your accusation against me. If you say I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
this kind of pretending to be silly seems to be a kind of submission and has no status in the family, but it is actually a love for the other half.
because Lin Dawei understands that his wife runs the life of the family, and she has to go to work and work hard. As a husband, her wife has a little temper and has to bear it if she can.
understand that it is not easy for you and be willing to tolerate your bad temper.
John Gottman said in Happy Marriage: "the most difficult company in the world to run is the family, and the most difficult relationship is husband and wife."
Marriage is never a fairy tale, and there is no perfect partner.
the art of marriage is not to expect a husband to be a god with a halo and a wife to be an angel in flight.
is not to ask for perfection, but to cultivate resilience, patience, understanding and a sense of humor.
throughout those who are happily married, they will play dumb in their marriage so that they can reap the sweetness and beauty that belongs to them.
have read a sentence:
"there are only a few people in the world who can perform love incisively and vividly, grow up in love, and combine their own life with that of their partner until they die.
the secret of their life-long relationship is to respect and tolerate each other's differences. Only in this way can the goddess of love care for them forever and the flower of love can last forever. "
Love is not looking for a perfect person, but learning to appreciate the imperfect person with perfect eyes.
No one is perfect, everyone has shortcomings.
most of the time, if you are confused, I will pretend to be stupid.
tolerate each other, love and respect each other, and you will find happiness around you.