The affairs of the family should be shared by two people.
read at ten o'clock
son, I haven't written to you for a long time.
watching you have been busy lately, ignoring the wedding to be held next month and the feelings of your fiancee.
remembering that you once asked me how to run my marriage well, I have something to say to you today.
in fact, the value of husband-wife relationship lies in "management".
there are many married couples, although they are married in the name of marriage, they always neglect each other's emotions and family relationships under the pretext of being busy.
it is easier to have all kinds of contradictions and complaints in the division of housework.
A couple has too many secrets of a business relationship, but no matter how good the relationship is, don't try to "help" each other with housework, otherwise, the relationship is likely to break up.
Why would I say that? you'll know after reading the following.
housework is the most contradictory aspect of marriage
I watched a video on the Internet a few days ago.
in the video, a father goes to his daughter's house and sees his daughter, who has been spoiled by himself, completely reduced to a babysitter in each other's home.
ask her to keep an eye on the child's homework.
ask her to fill up her husband's tea.
ask her to prepare the food at home.
ask her to clean the house.
even for such a simple thing as receiving and sending express delivery, she has to be busy by herself.
when she is too busy to split up, she will only give such orders to her husband: lift your feet, move your ass, and turn down the fire on the stove.
as for her husband, as soon as he entered the house, he either sat on the sofa watching TV or played games with his mobile phone.
Women take care of all the big and small affairs at home.
my father couldn't watch it any more. He wanted to say a few words, but on second thought, he was like this at home.
leave all the housework to his wife and act as a shopkeeper.
in fact, in most families, men and women are divided in this way.
Men sit and drink tea and read newspapers, while women are busy taking care of the family.
so what many people see in their eyes is that mom is busy most of the time, and dad is a shopkeeper.
but now times have changed.
Women not only have to take care of their children and do some housework, but also have their own hobbies, career and life pursuit.
they no longer want to be someone's wife and are no longer willing to be bound by the label "so-and-so mother".
when there is a disagreement between self-achievement and housework, and without the help of the other half, marriage is easy to have problems.
you may not know that many married people will say that doing housework is like being sentenced to life imprisonment. It never ends and takes time forever.
because the wiped floor will be dirty, the folded clothes will be messy, the bucket will be full of rubbish, and the ingredients in the refrigerator will be empty.
what is more important is that when a busy person sees another person who has nothing to do, he will get angry for no reason.
Don't ignore the emotion of the other party. Once this small contradiction is not resolved in time, it will accumulate and lead to great disaster.
and housework is a place where contradictions can easily arise.
wife, not the babysitter you married home
speaking of which, when I first married your mother, I didn't know how to do housework.
at that time, many men would feel that they married a wife in order to stop the cold cooker and for someone to do some housework for themselves.
I still remember the time when you were born, when your mother was so strong that she didn't want to quit her job and take care of her full-time at home.
she tries not to leave work, but also tries to be a good mother.
but she probably didn't expect that the housework at home suddenly became so much that the house cleaned up in the past two days was now tidied up every day, and the clothes that used to be washed once a week were now washed every day.
she broke down.
she blamed herself for her incompetence and complained about why I didn't help her.
it was then that I began to realize that what men do in the family has such a great impact on a woman.
later, I began to learn to help your mother. I would rub her shoulders and beat her back. I would also help her lift heavy objects and clean the house.
so that your mother can rest a little longer and stop working so hard.
I have always felt that I am a good husband ever since.
until one day, we went to your uncle Wang's house. To my surprise, after we entered the house, your uncle Wang was busy in the kitchen.
he first washed the pots and pans of the previous meal, and then prepared the ingredients for the next meal, then wiped his hands and came out of the kitchen to chat with us.
I asked him incredibly: why do you do so much for your wife today?
he said, "it's not a help. My wife hasn't been feeling well these two days, so I did it easily."
to tell you the truth, looking at his skilful appearance, I began to reflect on myself.
over the years of marriage, I did help your mother do a lot of things, but ignored that home should be a harbor for two people, how can housework become a burden for one person?
even if the other party gives a hand, it should be described as "help".
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it was the first time I realized that doing housework should not be a responsibility to bind someone, but an obligation shared by both parties.
so, son, I want to remind youYours is, don't talk about helping your wife with the housework.
you are not a passer-by, you are the master of the house.
things at home should be shared by two people.
the most important thing in marriage is to love each other
at this point, I know you will be more or less reluctant.
you might refute me by saying:
but men have to make money, they are so tired when they go out every day, and they have to do housework when they go home.
besides, most other families are men who earn money and women do housework.
you have such complaints, I understand.
when I first married your mother, I felt the same way. I thought it was okay to do housework, and she could handle it all by herself.
as I get older, I gradually realize that it is not easy.
not long ago, I saw a person's answer on the Internet, which summarized a woman's housework.
she does laundry every two days, cooks in the morning and evening, and cleans every week.
after having children, the workload of all housework has doubled, including picking up and taking children and tutoring them with homework.
it is calculated according to 30 yuan per hour for housekeeping, 50 yuan for accompany teachers and 5,000 yuan for nannies in the market.
I say it's not too much for a woman who takes part in these jobs to get at least 5000 yuan a month.
I'm not saying this because I want you to worry about who does more and who does less than who earns more and less.
I just want to tell you that no one in a marriage is easy.
you have your pains to eat, and your partner has her tiredness to suffer.
compared to criticizing each other, rather than throwing pots at each other, it is more important to feel sorry for and understand each other than disputes over housework.
No one's efforts are taken for granted, and when she decides to "laugh at her long dress and wash her hands for you to make soup", she deserves a little more love and care from you.
when love spreads in your little home, your life will naturally get better and better.
manage and enjoy the trivialities of life
so, how to do your housework well?
I talked to your mother about this a while ago.
We thought that we could make a duty list, just like your college residence, everyone has their own division and time.
I have also thought of regularly inviting cleaning aunt to come to your door to help you with your belongings and clean for you.
your mother also said that when she retires, she will visit you more often, help you cook, take care of the children, and reduce your stress.
there is still a long way to go, and we also believe that you will find the most suitable way to run your marriage in the future.
but don't forget that no matter how busy you are at work, you have to make time to share the housework. No matter how much you have to do, please go home and spend more time with your wife.
Home is not a haven for one person, but a common harbor for two people.
Family affairs are not the responsibility of one person, but need to be solved by two people together.
finally, I hope you will be happy and happy until you grow old.
Love your dad.