May your heart be magnanimous, be free from wind and frost, and live a safe and comfortable life.
have you ever had this experience?
sometimes when you meet people who disagree with you and think differently, you always want to argue with them to prove that you are "right".
however, most of the time, the more they argue, the more they argue, and the more they argue, the more unclear they are.
in the end, no one can convince each other, so they can only break up in discord.
Carnegie once said:The only way to win an argument is to avoid it.
people grow up in different environments, see different scenery, the three values will be different, and there is no so-called empathy.
it is difficult for people of different levels to stand on the same side.
so never argue with people at different levels.With different levels of
, there is no need to convince each other
once upon a time, we longed for recognition and often tried to convince everyone to be in line with ourselves.
it was not until I became more and more mature that I suddenly realized that some people were destined to be at different levels and that there was no need to say much at all.
in the American TV series Friends, there is a passage:
at a dinner, archaeologist Ross was surprised to hear his friend Phoebe say that he didn't believe in evolution.
he asked Phoebe why she didn't believe it, and Phoebe said she thought Darwin's conclusion was simple.
this is hard for Ross to accept, he immediately tells a lot of expertise trying to convince Phoebe, and said: "Evolution is not to make you believe, but the scientific truth."
Phoebe was unmoved and said no.
Ross was not reconciled, and he still followed Phoebe after dinner, saying, "how can you not believe in evolution?"
then Ross gave a long speech to demonstrate the correctness of the theory of evolution.
Phoebe ignored it and said impatiently, "Why did you force everyone to agree with you?"
when Roston was speechless, seeing that verbal persuasion failed, he simply came up with a whole box of scientific research reports and some 200 million-year-old fossils to prove it.
but Phoebe does not look at all kinds of evidence brought by Ross and always adheres to her own point of view.In the end, Ross had no choice but to leave.
Ross thought Phoebe could be persuaded with expertise and scientific evidence, but he forgot that he and Phoebe were not at all at the same level in science.
Phoebe is just a masseuse and doesn't know anything about science. She only wants to believe what she wants to believe.
so Ross, no matter how much he says, is in vain.
I quite agree with one sentence:
"people can't actually convince another person, and the result is nothing more than a more heated quarrel."
the vast sea of people, everyone is immersed in their own inherent view of life, it is difficult to be broken and reversed by others.
especially when they are not at the same level and their thinking and cognition are different, how can they talk about a harmonious picture?
different levels, there is no need to persuade each other, silence is the best answer.
drink wine with those who know it, and chat with those who know it.
if people drink water, they know that they are cold and warm, and they can arrive quietly in the distance that others cannot understand.
to argue with others is to consume yourself
it is never wise to argue with others, but to gamble on other people's bets with yourself.
sometimes unwittingly, it brings unpredictable consequences.
I saw a news report that Xiao Chen, a 24-year-old girl, couldn't help arguing with her boss because of her disagreement with her boss.
after the argument, Xiao Chen still felt aggrieved and was so angry that he was so upset and flustered.
until he got home from work, Xiao Chen had not yet calmed down, but he began to feel sick, vomited, and even felt weak, making it difficult for him to walk.
when the family saw this, they immediately sent Xiao Chen to the hospital.
finally, the doctor diagnosed that Xiao Chen had a hyperthyroidism crisis caused by emotional agitation and needed to be hospitalized immediately.
debate is the most likely to wear out the body and mind. People seem to be arguing with others, but in fact they are angry.
someone on the Internet asked: "Why do argumentative people often have a bad life?"
highly praised replied: "because arguing is a kind of self-consumption, the more arguments, the more loss."
with a quick tongue, it is not only difficult to win the respect you want, but also breeds contradictions and loses grace.
A netizen once told a cousin's experience, which is quite realistic.
my cousin just graduated from the Academy of Fine Arts and worked as an art teacher in a training institution, but she was fired after less than three months of work.
the reason is that when my cousin teaches, she advocates that students should be allowed to play freely without deviating from the theme, and she will not interfere with students' creation too much.
but some parents think that my cousin is too laissez-faire with her students and begin to question her professional ability.
my cousin cannot tolerate doubts about her major. Whenever parents raise questions, she will argue with them from an artistic perspective.
come and go, although parents no longer say anything on the surface, they have deeper opinions about her in their hearts.
later, several parents simply lodged a complaint and asked for the replacement of their cousin.
if you always argue and refute, you may be able to win occasionally, but it is an empty victory, because then you will never get the favor of the other person.
debate, will never really win the recognition of others, will only infinitely lower their own character.
in the adult world, there is no absolute right or wrong, so it is more difficult to look at problems in the same dimension.
you know, no.All the fish live in the same sea.
the fish in the shallow sea do not know the darkness of the deep sea, and the fish in the deep sea do not know the shallow sea insurance.
if you want to compete with others, you are forced to instill your own views into others, which not only makes it difficult for others, but also consumes yourself.
A person's biggest failure is to win the truth, lose the mood and bearing.
the top way, respect other people's values
there is a test that shows two students a video of the Venice boat at the same time.
A student is lively and likes music and animation, but he doesn't like words.
another student, on the contrary, is quiet and introverted and likes reading books and poems on weekdays.
there are boats of different sizes and color text introductions in the video.
after watching the video, the teacher asked them to create a work in any way.
as a result, the lively student drew a picture based on objects, and the quiet student wrote an introduction-based article.
this phenomenon is the "selective attention" in psychology:
means that among many external stimuli, people will only pay attention to one aspect of certain stimuli or stimuli, and then ignore other stimuli.
the same thing will show a different understanding in the eyes of people with different personalities and preferences.
even if they are close friends, it is difficult to always agree with each other.
Pai Hsien-yung and Chen Wen-hsien are both famous writers in Taiwan and have been close friends for many years.
at that time, Bai Xianyong was widely loved by the youth version of the Peony Pavilion, and many people were moved by the love stories in it.
however, her good friend Chen Wenxi disagreed.
Bai Xianyong is not angry, but learns that in Chen Wenxi's heart, love is unreliable.
since then, Bai Xianyong seldom mentioned the "Peony Pavilion" in front of Chen Wenxi, let alone asked her for advice.
Bai Xianyong understands that Chen Wenxi is grateful. She once said publicly:
"I am very grateful for this. He can innovate, I can be stubborn, and no one will convince the other. "
Yes, everyone has their own edges and flaws, and no one will be persuaded by each other.
only by understanding and respect can we get along well with each other.
Kant has a classic saying:
I respect any independent soul, although I do not agree with some, but I can understand as much as possible.
among the worlds of mortals, there are a thousand hamlets for a thousand people.
like-minded, only accidental, different views, is the norm.
truly mature people are not eager to argue and persuade, but know how to accept differences.
the top way to get along with others is to respect other people's values.
as Russell said, "only when roses and jasmine bloom together can there be jagged beauty in the world."
Zhou Guoping said:
"how a person treats people with different views can better reflect his level of civilization than what he holds."
people who are full of wisdom are calm in their hearts and are often not afraid of different voices.
take those who are not right to the eye as the east wind, and listen quietly to those who can enter the heart, and it is better to rely on each other.
in the face of differences, the highest level of debate is not discerning.
Life is a process of constant awakening, which will not be seen until it has hit a brick wall again and again, and silence is already an answer.
Don't argue, you should argue, answer with silence, and time will be notarized.
No one can refute you as long as you don't care about everything in the world.
for the rest of your life, don't let outside voices interfere with your dreams and let disputes come and go in a hurry. All you have to do is "I'm fine."
, may your heart be magnanimous, be free from wind and frost, and live a safe and comfortable life.