The heart is a little bit cold, disappointment is also a little bit of accumulation.
the stamina of breaking up is so strong that I can't figure out why, and I don't want to touch love anymore.
there are also girls who think that love is a very complicated thing because they have seen too many infidelities, cold wars and quarrels in other people's stories.
I probably don't have the ability to handle such a complicated relationship, so I don't dare to get married and don't believe in love.
but in fact, many girls are wrong about the reason for the breakup.
whether it's a quarrel, a cold war, or even the most intolerable cheating, it's really just a sign of a breakup or a complication of a broken relationship.
and the following four points are the important reasons that lead to the end of the relationship between two people.
the one you once loved is gone
A friend came to me crying after breaking up and asked me how I could save each other and repair the relationship between the two people.
instead of answering her immediately, I asked, "have you ever looked for a reason in yourself?"
she was stupefied for a moment, then said excitedly, "what's the reason for me? what's wrong with me? he's the one who broke up."
but is she really all right?
I also know my friend's predecessor, and I have witnessed the whole process of this relationship from the beginning to the end.
at the beginning, the two were really good, and their friends changed their old self-wayward habits, considerate and considerate. At that time, she also said that this was the power of love.
but over time, she regained her natural nature. Wechat was unhappy without a second, blocked and deleted in a quarrel, and then waited for her ex to apologize and admit her mistake.
make a little pleasure in your relationship, but if you go too far, it will hurt each other.
because he was badly hurt, he would choose to leave.
so at the end of a relationship, don't put all the blame on the other person, but ask yourself, are you still the same person?
do you get along in the same way as when you were passionately in love? Are you still as gentle, sweet and hot as before?
if you haven't changed, don't try to fix it. He broke up because he doesn't love you anymore.
if you are still like this, he will never look back.
disappointment is a little bit of accumulation
I once met a divorced couple whose wife lived in her mother's house for a year and her husband did not pick her up.
now she wants to remarry, but her mother still disagrees.
at first I thought it was her husband's problem, but I didn't know what she had done until I saw the back.
she always felt that her mother-in-law looked down on her, that she did not give her the gift money for the full moon wine, that she was disrespected, and that her mother-in-law did not take her seriously if she had a job and did not help her with the children.
for this reason, she quarreled with her husband a lot.
later, she went back to her mother's house because she was angry, and she took the child with her family directly, and she never came back since then.
her mother thinks that her mother-in-law only takes care of her grandchildren occasionally when she comes home from work, so she really doesn't deserve to be a grandmother.
so every time her husband goes to pick her up, she is asked to buy another apartment and move out.
you see, it's not how much her husband goes too far, but that her mother is too involved in the family, and she really cares too much.
in fact, most of the time, before feelings are hopeless, they have experienced countless contradictions, disputes, quarrels and complaints.
both men and women, the heart is a little cold, disappointment is also a little bit of accumulation.
but we often only see the result, completely ignoring the problems in the process.
by the time you realize that your relationship is in crisis, it's too late.
you love yourself, but forget to love him
feelings belong to two people, who only think about themselves and are not willing to think from each other's point of view, not love, but selfishness.In the TV series "Little Doctor", Li Xiaojing attributed his allergies to her husband's uncleanliness, so he was asked to take a bath after returning home, otherwise he could not go to bed.
the husband had no choice but to do it, but he was still scolded by her.
when the husband caused asthma because of the allergy to dog hair in the family, he didn't get any attention from her.The conflict between the two people is getting deeper and deeper, she is unwilling to send her dog away, and her husband thinks he is not as good as the dog at home, so she filed for divorce.
A friend points out her problem:
"you always get angry, and if you think everyone else has to put up with it, you have to hold it down.
you think he's your dog, so he just comes and goes. Will you feel better if someone is always against you? "
so do you find that some girls pay special attention to their own feelings, hoping that each other can coax them all the time, but ignore each other's feelings?
but did you know that at the beginning, this boy likes you and loves you, maybe he will think you are very cute and will accept your appropriate overbearing.
but after a long time, once he feels tired, he will want to run away.
how many relationships break up not because they don't love, but because they are ignored and the other person turns a blind eye to their own demands.
Love is never about confrontation, it has to be about winning or losing, but about teamwork, forming intimate relationships and planning the future together.
devote their time and love to each other and build a small family together.
in this process, everyone has to make sacrifices and compromises. If they are all from their own standpoint, thenSuch a relationship cannot last long.
sense of security is slowly ruining your relationship
I remember browsing a video on Douyin in which girls and friends complained that I had given him the best and tried my best to understand him, but he was still indifferent.
when her friend handed her a roasted kidney, she said, "No, I can't eat it. It's too fishy."
her friend advised her, "have a bite, it's the best thing."
she refused, and then heard her friend say, "it seems that the best things are sometimes superfluous."
she understands at once that what you think is the best thing you think is what you think, but not what the other person needs.
you are just here to define the other person's needs, not to understand them through communication.
too many people get along with each other without thinking about why they are angry, whether they misunderstand each other, or their lack of sense of security.
because of the lack of sense of security, I hope the other person will take more care of himself and understand him more.
I hope the other person will be responsible for your sensitivity, inferiority, and emotional feelings.
but this will make the other person lose trust in you, and he can't believe that he can have a good life with you.
sense of security in a relationship is important, but who has the power to provide continuous and multiple love for another person?
did it ever occur to you that everyone has a need for sense of security, and he can get it from you?
this is why once a man breaks up, it is basically a real breakup.
Men will not break up easily, only when they are really completely disappointed, it is very difficult for you to make it back.
so when a relationship breaks down, the first thing to think about is why it broke up and what the root of the problem is.
Don't get the reason wrong, but only when you really understand the root of the emotional problem, is it possible to really restore the relationship between two people.Finally, I hope that every couple in a relationship can understand each other, tolerate each other, and cherish each other.