The rest of life is too short to live in the likes and dislikes of others.
have you ever had such an experience in your life:
you are warm to others, some people think you are hypocritical; you are silent, and some people think you are pretentious.
when you return to your family, some people say you don't want to make progress; you work hard, while others say you are competitive.
when you are down and out, some people say that you do not work hard enough; if you mix well, others say that you are eager for quick success and quick profit.No matter what you do, there are always a few people around you who like to tell you what to do and pick bones in their eggs. Haruki Murakami said: "not all fish live in the same sea."
in the same life, you can't make everyone like yourself.
if someone doesn't like you, remember the following four words are enough.
you really can't make everyone like
A few days ago, my cousin, who had just joined the job, complained to me.
she said: "most of my colleagues like me, but Sister Liu is always cold."
my cousin is actually very sensible. She is cheerful and down-to-earth.
at work, I fell in love with my colleagues before the internship was over.
but she is talking about this Sister Liu, who always rejects her thousands of miles away, but can laugh and chat with others.
not long ago, when she saw that there was something wrong with Sister Liu's family, she offered to work overtime for her. Unexpectedly, they refused and asked for help.Once again, when she saw that there was a delivery for Sister Liu in the reception room, she kindly brought it to her, but Sister Liu said, "Thank you. I'll just take it myself."
my cousin still didn't give up. One morning, she helped Sister Liu clean the station and made tea ahead of time.
but when Sister Liu came, she said to her, "Please don't do this in the future. I really don't like it."
my cousin was very sad and called me and asked, "what on earth do I have to do to make Sister Liu like me?"
I told her with more than ten years of social experience:
it doesn't matter what you do, because the truth is, you can't make everyone like it.
to investigate the reason, apart from character and values, most of the time it may just be that the feeling is wrong, the aura is different, and the fate has not yet arrived.
just like the famous Internet saying: "I like you for no reason, and I don't like you for any reason."
the relationship between people is very delicate, and if you want to be appreciated by everyone across the board, it is tantamount to a mantis acting like a car.
instead of struggling with this, it's better to be honest and let everything go with you.
only in this way can life be light and comfortable.
to live a wonderful life, you need the courage to be hated
German writer Hesse has a wise saying:
"the awakened one has only one duty: to find himself, to stick to himself, and to follow his own path, wherever it leads."
Hesse was born into a strict religious family, but he is lively by nature, yearning for freedom, and is an "annoying" child in the eyes of his elders.
his father asked him to read through the classics, but he secretly looked at Goethe; his relatives and friends asked him to sing in church, but he hid at home to listen to Mozart.When he grew up, he resolutely refused to become a priest and became a professional writer.
in order to express his thoughts, Hesse always spoke fiercely and behaved perverse, which aroused the resentment of many people.
his parents were so disappointed that his wife left him, and even his best friend severed relations with him because of a quarrel.
but Hesse did not flinch. He tempered his soul in solitude, wrote a series of masterpieces, and won the Nobel Prize for Literature.
he never seems to be afraid of being hated, excluded or isolated.
likes a passage by writer Liu Tong very much:
there is no character in the world that can avoid offending people, speaking directly will offend small people, euphemism will offend quick temper, old people will offend people with principles, slick people will offend smart people.
since you will offend others, be yourself.
if you are afraid of being hated, you will give in everywhere, cater to everything, and become a marionette for others.
if you go on like this, you will lose yourself and find no direction in your life.
the really strong have the courage to be hated. They know that people have to live for themselves.
the rest of life is too short to live in the likes and dislikes of others
Milan Kundera once said:
"giving yourself to the eyes of others is the source of unease and suspicion."
everyone has different values and preferences. If you use others to calibrate your life, you are likely to accomplish nothing.
# undefined life #
@ textThe story of
resonates with many people.
she once talked about a boyfriend who always wanted and even asked her to be a more interesting person.
my boyfriend often says, "look at you. You don't know anything. You can't sing and dance. It's boring."
Wen Wen began to learn hip-hop dance in order to cater to her boyfriend.
but she has neither talent nor hobby. A few months later, she didn't learn hip-hop, but her rhythm of life was completely disrupted.
every day after work, she rushed to the dance studio non-stop, until more than ten o'clock, dragging her tired body home.
in order to practice dancing, she gave up her hobby, interrupted the review of the professional title, and could not find time to have dinner with her friends.
in the endShe neither made her boyfriend like her more, nor did she take care of her life.
Cai Kangyong once said:
"if everything is expected to meet the expectations of others, it will be very difficult one day."
most of the time, we live very tired because we care too much about the voices of the outside world.
when others frown, we are frightened; when others smile, we are ecstatic.
We are careful to make others the center of our lives.
but only we know how to live a good life.
the rest of life is too short to live in the likes and dislikes of others.
like yourself is more important than anything else
have seen such a true story.
A middle-aged man suddenly resigned and traveled around the world when he was promoted by the company.
he is highly appreciated by his leaders and has a very harmonious relationship with his colleagues. Therefore, his act of "madness" is really puzzling.
for a long time, men have been the right winners in life: successful studies, successful careers, and happy families.
however, under the calm and beautiful life, it is his increasingly depressed heart.
he said: "everyone likes me, but I hate myself more and more."
he hates being "too obedient" and growing up according to his parents' requirements; he hates being "too sensible" and always living according to the expectations of others.In the end, he won the applause of others, but lost his self-affirmation. In order to get rid of confusion and depression, he decided to make a change.
he healed himself with travel and wrote a book called "the Cafe at the end of the World".
unexpectedly, the book sold well all over the world, and the man turned to be an orator.
he is John Stricki, a famous motivational orator in contemporary America.
on the Internet, someone once asked Professor Chen Guo of Fudan University a question:
"which is more important, whether others like you or you like yourself?"
Chen Guo said: "both are important. But when you can't do both, it's more important to like yourself. "
We should not stare at whether others like it or not, but learn to appreciate ourselves so that life can be rich and beautiful.
finally, I would like to send you a passage from Mo Yan:
it's normal that there are always people who don't like you in this world.
No matter how good you are, no matter how good the other person is, you can't ask each other too much.
because whether it is good or not is one thing, whether you like it or not is another.
deliberately to like others, damage, can only be self-dignity.
Don't bend over countless times to get an indifferent low eyebrow.
for the rest of your life, may you face people who don't like you, turn around, take it calmly, and live a splendid self.
, share with your friends.