It is enough not to wronge yourself and not to owe others.
there is a line in "Mountains and Rivers Dead":
"everyone can only walk with you for a while, and sooner or later they will be separated."
in the journey of life, people come and go, not all relationships can go to the end.
those who have been intimate with themselves will also become indifferent because of time or distance.
so don't overestimate your relationship with anyone.
you know, you are the only one who can really accompany you from one to the end.
not all friends are called "friends"
I wonder if you have ever felt this way:
you have been giving to someone, and you think your relationship is already very close.
but when asked about him, he said carelessly that your relationship was just ordinary.
you must feel very lost when you hear that.
in fact, this happens all the time.
I thought the relationship was important to both parties, but others forgot it in the twinkling of an eye.
and a really good relationship does not need to be overrated, and each other can feel the importance each other attaches to the relationship.
during the Eastern Han Dynasty, when Lei Yi was appointed as a waiter of Shangshu, he had a well-connected colleague who was punished for committing crimes.
Lei Yi thought about the past and bravely stood up to share the responsibility for him.
but my colleagues knew that he shared it for himself, so they put all the blame on him, and then disappeared, leaving him alone to bear the responsibility.
Lei Yi was very sad when he found out.
when another friend Chen Chong heard about it, he abandoned his job and went to Beijing to praise Lei Yi and ask for atonement for Lei Yi.
later, when Emperor Shundi issued an edict, both of them were removed from official posts and exempted from criminal punishment.
after the two returned to their hometown together, Lei Yi was recommended as a scholar again.
but Lei Yi felt that Chen Zhong was not easy. He wanted to give this fame to Chen Zhong, but Shi did not approve it.
Lei Yi pretended to be crazy and sent out his hair in the street, appealing for Chen Zhong instead of taking office.
the village praised the deeds of the two of them, saying that the relationship between them was stronger than glue.
Leiyi did not take it for granted that Chen Zhong paid to himself, but repaid Chen Zhong's kindness with actions.
people often have the illusion that when I give to you, you should repay me.
but it is not true. Not all friends are "friends".
only those who really care about you will cherish your efforts and see your good.As Russell said, "No one should be expected to change a person's life for the sake of his life."
true friends, each other will cherish this friendship.
Don't test people's hearts, don't verify feelings
there is a saying: "in this society, do not test others, test, you will know what is the end of the play."
most of the time, temptation is to prove one's suspicion of a person.
people only want to test the people around them when they are distrustful and uncertain.
this kind of temptation is the most useless.
it not only fails to get closer to each other, but also pushes each other further.
Xiaobei has a good friend for many years, and the two often accompany him like a shadow.
A few days ago, when they were shopping, they were dragged to participate in their activities by street interviews.
Xiao Bei said he was not interested, but his friend was very interested in attending.
Xiao Bei went to the next chair and waited for his friend.
the host took out money to tempt her friends face to face and asked her to give out Xiao Bei's personal information.
at first, friends were not moved by money. With the increase of the amount of money, friends could not resist the temptation to give out all Xiaobei's personal information.
later, the host told Xiao Bei the test results.
Xiao Bei was so angry that he accused his friend of hypocrisy.
my friend explained that that kind of test is not reliable at all.
because she knew it was just a test, she did it. She was sincere to Xiao Bei.
but Xiaobei didn't believe anything his friend said, and he had a big quarrel with his friend, and finally the two broke up in discord.
"Human beings are between good and evil, sometimes inclined to one category and sometimes to another;
some people are increasingly sacred, some people become beasts, and most people remain moderate. "
the human heart is the most complicated. Good and evil are in the middle of a thought.
testing the heart in a relationship will eventually hurt not only your friends, but also yourself.
testing the truth to prove that others are good to you will only alienate the harmonious relationship.
therefore, do not easily test the hearts of the people, the relationship can not stand the test.
you don't have to invite too many people into your life for the rest of your life
once read such a topic on the Internet:
"what is the best attitude to interact with people?"
one of the highly liked answers:
"the best attitude for an adult to interact with others is to be yourself and then be close to each other."
I think so.
everyone will meet a lot of people in his life, but few of them can stay around.
those strayed feelings need not be regretted, but those left behind are worth cherishing.
some people are doomed to miss it, and it won't help no matter how hard it is.
A scholar recently had a big quarrel with a friend, so they broke off their relationship.
the scholar thought it was a pity, so he wanted to make peace with a friend. As a result, he was told it was impossible, so the scholar was very sad.
he chatted with the Zen master, who invited the scholars to go for a walk by the river.
the Zen master comforted: "Don't be too sad, you will meet new friends."
the scholar said, "but I lost a friend, so sad."... "
the Zen master said, "in fact, the relationship between people is like sand in your hands."
then he let the confused scholar grab a handful of sand in the palm of his hand.
the scholar grabbed the sand and clasped it in his hand.
but some sand soon flowed away from the clenched fingers.
at this time, the Zen master asked the scholar to spread his hand. On the open hand, the sand no longer flowed away, but piled firmly in the palm of his hand like a hill.
the Zen master explained:
"in our lives, we will meet a lot of people. The relationship between you and them is like sand in your hand.
the tighter you hold on, the faster you slip away. But open your palms, and the sand in the middle of your palms will always be there. "
on the road of life, those who should go will naturally go, and those who should stay will naturally stay.
those who stay are worth paying for.
as the saying goes, "A hundred acquaintances are not as good as a bosom friend."
No matter how many people you know, you are not as comfortable as someone who understands you and is willing to pay for you.
people come and go on the road of life, some people, do not care too much, it is better to let go.
Liang Shiqiu wrote in "seeing off":
"if you go, I won't send you; if you come, no matter how big the storm is, I'll pick you up."
on the way of life, there is really no need to do unworthy things for those who are not worth it.
people who are worth it will naturally care about you, and there is no need for you to try.
if it is worth it, you will naturally be cherished. There is no need for you to overestimate it.
so don't overestimate your relationship with anyone, but treat the people around you as equals.
it is enough not to wronge yourself and not to owe others.