Take care of yourself and behave in a moderate manner.
Liang Shiqiu once said:
"the beauty of middle age is to know life well, to know yourself, and to do what you can do."
when people reach middle age, they taste the bitterness and sweetness of life after years of suffering.
have a more thorough understanding of life, a deeper understanding.
I have come to understand that if you want to be comfortable, you have to learn to restrain yourself: don't talk too much, don't do much, and don't be affectionate.
Don't talk too much, there will be little misfortune
the ancients said, "disaster comes out of the mouth, and many words must be lost."
talkative and talkative, it is easy to cause trouble and cause unnecessary trouble to yourself.
one day after Zhu Yuanzhang became emperor, a companion who let off the cattle with Zhu Yuanzhang asked to see him.
the partner danced with delight at the sight of Zhu Yuanzhang.
immediately went on and on about how the two men herded cattle to the rich family together.
also talked about the experience of stealing beans together:
"once, we boiled the stolen beans in an earthen pot, and everyone scrambled to eat them before they were cooked.
as a result, the jar was broken, and you just grabbed beans from the ground and ate them. Unfortunately, the red grass root got stuck in your throat and almost lost your life. "
in front of civil and military officials, such an embarrassing story was unexpectedly told.
Zhu Yuanzhang was angry, annoyed and embarrassed.
so he ordered around: "where did the madman come from? somebody, drag this man full of nonsense out and cut him off!"
in this way, the talkative man lost his life.
"Open heart is magnanimous, open mouth is evil",
if you can't keep your mouth shut, it will only bring disaster to yourself in the end.
to be a man, if you don't talk too much, you can have less misfortune and live with peace of mind if you don't talk too much.
Wang Yangming once met a deaf-mute. Because the deaf-mute could not speak right and wrong and his ears could not listen to right and wrong, he had less bad worries in his life and lived a very comfortable and happy life.
Wang Yangming was deeply inspired by this and wrote, "there are many things to say, but also many troubles." Morality is good, not words. Say right and wrong, more than one sentence "six sentences, to warn yourself not to say wrong, less to cultivate the heart."
there is a saying in "the combination of sayings": "sit still and often think about your own mistakes, and don't talk about others."
after middle age, it is a kind of advanced self-cultivation and a wise way of life to control one's mouth, not to say that people are short and not to say fault.
Don't worry about too much.
Di Zi Gui has a saying: "Don't mind your own business, don't mind your own business."
it is a person's basic self-cultivation not to interfere with things that have nothing to do with him.
there are always some people in life who like to meddle in other people's private affairs for no reason, thinking that they are happy to help others, but they turn out to be unpopular, and they feel aggrieved that their kindness is treated as donkey liver and lungs.
do not know that if you do not treat yourself as an outsider, it is not only difficult to get recognition from others, but also easy to set yourself on fire if you rigidly meddle in other people's affairs.
there is a story about Su Dongpo in the Lion Roar of Kunqu Opera.
once, Su Dongpo and his good friend Chen Jichang went for a spring outing with women.
when Ji Chang's wife Liu knew, she often knelt at the edge of the lotus pool.
Su Dongpo couldn't see it. He told Liu Shixiao that she had nothing to do and that she should let her husband take a concubine.
Liu came out of his breath and chased Su Shi with a stick, which made him run away in a panic.
Don't interfere casually in other people's affairs, especially family affairs, if you have nothing to do with yourself.
after all, everyone has his own way of doing things, and what you think is good for others may not be good for others.
read a joke about Journey to the West:
the Tang monk is very careful and always likes to take care of his disciples.
one day, he found a hole in Sun WuKong's trousers and sewed it up silently.
but the next day he looked at it and found that the sewn hole had opened again, so he sewed it up again.It was the same on the third day, so he sewed it again.
although he was careful and considerate, Sun WuKong became angry and said impatiently:
"Master, will you mind your own business?
where do you sew up the hole and tell me where to put my tail?
the Shadow Theft says, "you can't interfere in other people's lives, even for their own good."
blindly meddling in idle things that have nothing to do with you is not only a waste of your energy, but also easy to end up in a situation where "good intentions are not rewarded".
when people reach middle age, they should get along well with others and mind their own business. it is not only respect for others, but also peace for themselves.
not affectionate, hurt less
writer Zhang Meng said:
"the most terrible thought of a person is to be friends with everyone, which is neither realistic nor necessary.
in this life, people will meet all kinds of people, but there is no need to give their sincerity to others.
because most of the time you think you are good to others, and others will be nice to you, but in fact you don't care so much.
in the Swordsman, Zhu Shu has poured out his heart and heart to everyone in the inn since he stepped into the Tongfu Inn.
is not only always rushing to do the dirty work for everyone, but also often takes care of everyone's emotions and feelings in every detail.
when someone falls on a pillow, she immediately makes buckwheat pillows for others.
when someone broke up, even though she was in a mess, she immediately stood up to comfort patiently.
she, who has always paid all her enthusiasm and sincerity, did not get the same degree of tenderness from others, but was treated as a small transparency.
once, she competed with Xiao Guo for talent, and the loser had to leave the inn.
there are four stages in the competition, and she has already won three rounds and is the proper winner.
but in the final vote, the other friends in the inn, as judges, all turned to Xiao Guo.
No one cares about the fact that she has nowhere to go if she loses.
not all good intentions in this world will be grateful, and not all sincerity can be exchanged for true feelings.
as there is a saying:
"if you are affectionate, others may not be righteous;
you are wholehearted, others may not be wholehearted.
if you give a true heart, it may not come to a good end.
when you associate with people, you don't have to be nice to everyone.
learn to treat differently is the best social principle.
actor Liu Tao has been in the entertainment industry for more than 20 years and knows countless people.
but she admitted that she had only two girlfriends in all.
this is not because she is unpopular, but in her opinion, her energy is limited and there is no need to invite too many people into her life.
it is enough to leave only a couple of bosom friends and treat them wholeheartedly.
enthusiasm must have a choice, pay must have a threshold, can be less disappointed and hurt.
when you reach middle age, don't try to be nice to everyone, don't be passionate about everyone without difference.
it is wise to spend precious time and energy on people who are really worth it.
have read a sentence:
"when people reach middle age, they are no longer bound by the laws of the outside world, but by the rules of the heart."
after middle age, take care of yourself and behave in a moderate manner.
Don't say what you can't say, don't do what you shouldn't do, and don't hand in people who don't have to.
only in the second half of life can we live peacefully, freely, comfortably and comfortably.