the song "Heart is too soft" sings:

"you are always too soft, and you carry all the problems on your own."

in interpersonal communication, people who are too soft-hearted always give in no matter what happens.

not only suffer from yourself, but also let others take an inch.

Gui Guzi has long warned that those who are soft-hearted are those who are unblessed.

Life is not easy, it is already full of hardships, why bother to make it difficult for yourself?

when you walk in the world, you still have to have some ruthlessness in order to protect yourself.

Don't cater blindly, learn to reject others

scientists have done such an experiment:

the experimenters were asked to taste chocolate cookies from full jars and fast-empty jars to judge whether they tasted good or bad.

after eating, almost all the experimenters agreed that the cookies taken from the fast-empty jar tasted better.

and the fact is: the two jars contain the same kind of biscuits.

this experiment explains:

the scarcer things are, the more valuable they feel.

knowing how to say "no" once in a while and thinking carefully about excessive demands and requests beyond reasonable boundaries are the social rules that adults should follow.

the writer Mr. Jia Pingwa talked about such a thing in knocking on the door:

because of the roll call of writing, no matter where he moved to the city, different people came to look for him.

some asked him to write a banner and wanted to give it to his superiors; some held a church meeting and wanted him to support him; and some wanted to come and chat at home if nothing happened.

he was so annoyed that he just wanted to read and write quietly, but he didn't know how to refuse.

I had no choice but to sit with me and serve tobacco and tea at the same time. Later, I was frightened and dared not say a word every time I heard a knock on the door.

writer Bi Shumin said:

"refusal is a right. If you are so easy to talk, who can understand you?"

Life is not easy. Many times, you give up your precious time and are squeezed by people who take advantage of your kindness. "

when people live in the world, they always encounter people who consume you and things that consume you.

if you cater blindly and do not know how to refuse, it will make others suck your blood like a leeches, which will suffocate your heart and delay normal work and life.

when you encounter something that is unbearable, unbearable, or unworthy, instead of dragging yourself to exhaustion, it is better to state your principles and attitude directly.

refuse in time, say "no" bravely, and make your life more comfortable and relaxed.

Don't forgive the person who hurt you badly

in economics, there is a "crocodile rule".

if a crocodile bites your foot, if you try to break free with your hand, the crocodile will bite your foot and hand at the same time.

the more you struggle, the greater the loss.

therefore, in this situation, the only way is to sacrifice one foot and stop the loss in time.

isn't this the case in life?

there are always crocodiles that bring you into danger and misfortune.

Don't be unrepentant and don't forgive easily when you meet such a person.

only when we wake up in time and remember the lessons, can we avoid greater harm.

crosstalk actor Yue Yunpeng talked about such a thing in an interview.

when he graduated from junior high school, he worked as a waitress in a restaurant in Beijing.

because of the miscalculation, Yue Yunpeng accidentally charged the guest 6 yuan more, and he offered to give the guest a discount.

but the guests still clung to it and even humiliated him for more than three hours with extremely insulting words.

after many years, the host asked, "can you forgive him?"

Yue Yunpeng said with a lump:

"No, I just don't forgive him. I hate him."

in the world, there are always some people standing on the moral high ground, demanding that others can "ride a boat in the belly of the prime minister".

but once the needle is stuck in yourself, you will know how much it hurts.

Mr. Lu Xun said long ago:

"damage the teeth of others, but oppose revenge, and those who advocate tolerance should never get close to him."

bottomless tolerance is indulgence; unprincipled magnanimity is stupidity.

with regard to the evil that breeds in human nature, we must not think that we can be reasonable and that we can "convince people with virtue".

Don't force yourself to let go of the pain you can't let go.

remember: there are always some "rubbish people" who are not worth waiting for.

be kind, but never lose your measure

scriptwriter Bonnie Bo said:

"kindness is precious, but it has no teeth, and that is weakness."

A good man is deceived, and a good horse is ridden.

of all things in the world, the most difficult to fill is the desire, and the most difficult to measure is the human heart.

Don't be too kind to protect yourself.

in the TV series Elite lawyers, there is such a plot.

lawyer McFei accidentally found his babysitter abusing his grandfather at home through the monitoring of his mobile phone.

because of Grandpa's incontinence, the nanny slapped Grandpa several times in the face.

McFei rushed home immediately, stopped the babysitter and told her to leave immediately.

the babysitter knelt down and cried with tears that she was the only one in the family who was making money, and that if she was caught, the child would not be able to go to school.

also asked McFei to delete the beating video recorded on his mobile phone, or he would be ashamed to go out in the future.

McFei deleted the video when he was soft-hearted.

unexpectedly, the babysitter bit back and sued McFei, slapping the babysitter in the face and being tested for minor injuries.

it was not until other lawyers stepped in to help and found that the nanny's injury was fake that McFei got out of trouble.

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there is a line in the movie "Godfather":

"softness without boundaries will only make the other party gain an inch; kindness without principles will only let the other party do as he pleases."

the forest is so big that there are everyone.

living in the world, we must be kind-hearted and help others as much as we can.

but also stick to the bottom line and don't let goodness lose its scale.

otherwise, others will only consume you even more, or even do whatever it takes to frame you.

the rest of my life is precious, and it is a compulsory course for a lifetime to let kindness bring some edge.

Don't be too sensitive, keep insensitive moderately

in life, there is no shortage of people who speak poorly and like to tell stories.

if he is always too soft-hearted, he will be poked at the sore spot from time to time, which will not only do no good to himself, but will even make "relatives painful, enemies quick".

soft-hearted people tend to be oversensitive and are good at observing and feeling subtle changes in emotions.

and such a consequence is often the fulfillment of others and the injustice of oneself.

instead of doing so, you might as well be a little slower.

Don't care too much about other people's comments, don't care too much about the gains and losses of life.

as the philosopher Nietzsche said:

"Don't be sensitive all the time. Dullness is sometimes a virtue."

there are psychologists who have done such an experiment.

they invited 10 volunteers and put them in 10 rooms without any mirrors.

then invite a special effects makeup artist to put realistic scar makeup on everyone's face.

, the makeup artist took out the small mirror she carried with her and showed the volunteers what she looked like at this time.

then take away the mirror and tell them that they will continue to put on makeup.

when everything is ready, psychologists arrange for volunteers to dress up as patients with facial scars, queue up at the hospital for treatment and describe their psychological feelings.

as a result, these volunteers said:

"I feel that the person behind me looks at me with some disdain."

"there are always some people pointing fingers at me"

.

it was not until the psychologist smiled and took out the mirror that the volunteers were surprised to find that

it turned out that his face was clean, and the makeup artist quietly wiped off their scar makeup before they went out.

this experiment explains:

what really makes us feel uneasy and touching is often not the thing itself, but our own inner feelings and excessive interpretation of other people's behavior motives.

if we always pay special attention to the opinions of others and like to think the worst, it is easy to doubt ourselves and even stage a TV series with ups and downs in our hearts.

whether in the workplace, life or marriage, get along with others, learn to be ruthless and dull, life can be happier and more calm.

A soft heart is hard for a lifetime, but a ruthless heart is always smooth.

"it is not easy for people who are too soft-hearted to be happy. If others hurt her or she hurts others, they will get sick in their hearts."

moderate softness is a kind of self-cultivation; excessive softness is a disaster.

in the world, there are always some people who turn a blind eye to your goodness and take an inch of your goodness.

if you are good enough to be unreserved, others will dare to be unscrupulous.

there is a measure of kindness and tolerance.

occasionally with a little "ruthlessness" and paying attention to the scale of everything, we can grasp the strength to deal with the world and make my life more comfortable and comfortable.

, may you and I leave kindness and warmth to those who are really worth it.