May every mother be able to live her own life and decide for herself.
some time ago, Jia Jingwen's husband Xiu Jiekai appeared on Xiao S's new program.
he said publicly that if he could, he would like to have another child, which is suspected of giving birth to Jia Jingwen.
Xiao S was surprised when he heard this: "do you want to be born again?"
netizens left messages one after another:
"all three are daughters. Is this the rhythm of wanting a son?"
"Jia Jingwen is 47 years old. Have you considered her body?"
"if you want to give birth to yourself, you think it's as easy to have a baby as to lay eggs?"
as we all know, Jia Jingwen resents talking about the topic of rebirth.
on Xiu Jiekai's birthday last year, Jia Jingwen's birthday caption said that she sent a bottle of wine that could only be seen but could not be drunk for the time being, and was speculated by the media that the two were preparing for pregnancy.
Jia Jingwen rolled her eyes and responded:
"just because the wine is expensive. I have already had three children, can you leave me alone? I have paid a lot, okay? I have contributed to the society. "
gave birth to a second child at the age of 41 and three at the age of 42, both of which were born at an advanced age and their careers stagnated.
I finally won the post-TV and film career, and my career is improving. It would be too miserable if I had to have four children in my old age.
in fact, there are not a few mothers who are as old as her and have been urged to give birth to their next child.
"even if I get divorced, I won't have a second or third child."
in recent years, many mothers have begun to face the pressure of giving birth to a second child and a third child.
do you still remember a divorce lawsuit in Guangzhou some time ago?
Ms. Ye, 41, who has a daughter with her husband, has no plans to have a second child because of physical reasons.
but her husband keeps giving birth and threatens her:
if he doesn't have a second child, he will divorce, and he will no longer raise his daughter, nor will he contribute money to the family, but will get back the salary card that she left with Ms. Ye.
Ms. Ye had no choice but to file for divorce in court.
the fact that women are forced to divorce if they do not have a second child is behind the cruel reality that women do not have the right to decide their own reproductive rights.
being fertile is an irreversible thing.
there are many factors to consider in the advanced age of having a second child and a third child.
but the reality is that many men and their mother-in-law always feel that their birth problems will be solved naturally.
like a friend of mine who is 40 years old and whose daughter is in the fourth grade.
A few years after she returned to the workplace, she was finally promoted to head of the department.
in her own words, after several years as a stay-at-home mother and another few years as a working mother, she has finally made it through.
but my mother-in-law always beat around the bush in the hope that she would have a second child, and the husband followed her mother-in-law's meaning: "wife, have another child, so that the child can have a companion."
but it's not a matter of having a second child at this age.
my physical strength and energy can not be compared with that of my youth, and my family's financial conditions are just enough to support a child.
are there any elderly people in the family who can help take care of the children? fighting for a second child at this time may bring down the whole family.
not long ago, the 2022 edition of China Fertility cost report was released.
the report says the average cost of raising children between the ages of 0 and 17 across the country is 485000 yuan.
No economy, no energy, no helper.
when people reach middle age, they simply do not have the strength to fight for a second or third child.
No uterus, no decision
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35 + is faced with giving birth again, there are too many problems to be considered.
many mothers like their children themselves, but when they reach middle age, it's not that they don't want to have a second or third child, they really don't dare to do it.
I have a relative who couldn't bear to give birth at the age of 42 and decided to have a second child.
the physical examination of both husband and wife before delivery and every antenatal examination are all normal.
results at 32 weeks, the cholestasis index was suddenly very high and could not be decreased.
had to have an emergency caesarean section at 33 weeks and stayed in ICU for three days after delivery.
when Big S gave birth to his second youngest son at the age of 40, he went through the "ghost gate" twice. he was in pain until he had a seizure during childbirth, and he passed the critical period only after two rescues.
and for the elderly mothers who have two or three children:
not only to go through the ghost gate of giving birth, but also to wade through more choppy undercurrents after giving birth.
for example, extreme physical consumption after giving birth.
I saw a data two days ago:
more than 30% of married women in China have symptoms of urinary leakage.
giving birth does lasting and irreversible harm to the female body.
in addition to the physical harm, some husbands are very active when they give birth to a second and third child, and become a shopkeeper when they are really born.
there was a mother who had a second child at the risk of pregnancy-induced hypertension.
as a result, after giving birth, regardless of whether she brought it or not, she asked her husband why he did not keep his promise of raising children together.
there were so many quarrels that the husband blurted out the truth, "I didn't say that, and you didn't want to have a baby."
giving birth is a decision that affects the whole body.
easy to have a second or third child may get you stuck in a quagmire for the rest of your life.
in addition, the age difference between children is often very large when they have a second or third child in their advanced age.
Zhihu has a post "those born by elderly parents"Second children, what troubles have they caused to the boss's life? "many netizens answered below:
"the boss is simply raising a child for his parents. He has to learn to change his child's diaper and make milk powder at a young age."
"when the second child grows up, he will have to buy a house and marry a wife."
and the feeling of the second child is not so happy.
"my parents gave birth to me in their 40s. I just turned 20 and they are already in their 60s. It's a nightmare to get married and go on a blind date every day."
of course, there are many families with second and third children who are very happy.
but there are many situations that many mothers have to consider in the light of their own situation before making a decision.
the society advocates giving birth to a second child and a third child, and hospitals advocate natural delivery and breastfeeding.
experts suggest that children should not be taken care of by the elderly. Children yearn for the company of their mothers all the time.
the husband hopes that his wife is as beautiful as a flower and can take care of the family, and the parents-in-law hope that their daughter-in-law can take care of the children and earn money to support the family.
but before a woman is a wife or a mother, she is herself.
while praising being a mother, she advocates that women should be independent.
the expectations of mothers and the requirements of motherhood in this society are far greater than what women should bear.
if there is no uterus, there is no decision.
Mom thinks she can bear the risk of giving birth and the cost of raising a child, so she goes to have a baby. She doesn't want to have a baby and is in charge.
follow your heart's decision and don't be kidnapped by the people around you in the name of love.
if you love yourself, you can love your children better.
Men have their own fatherhood in addition to supporting their families
in addition to giving birth, women have their own world
We always focus on "being a mother is tough" and "female independence". In fact, women who have become mothers are already independent enough.
the men who really should be independent are the men who have become fathers.
should not be like a spiritual father, with children, but not all.
he even has a child and is still a giant baby.
when I get home, I lie on the sofa, hide in the bathroom, and brush my cell phone on the bed at night.
the children don't ask questions, they don't share the housework, and they don't even know which class they are in.
instead, you should take on your own fatherhood. Being a father is just.
in fact, it's not that difficult to be a good father as long as you have the heart.
two days ago, I saw a heart-warming video of a bedtime ceremony taken by a father of triplets.
before going to bed, he took his three children to wash and put them to bed, and poured foot water for his wife, who had been tired all day.
you know how hard it is for him to make money, and he knows that you are tired of taking care of your children.
such teammates who have responsibilities to share are the real strength for a mother to have a second child and a third child.
in addition, I also want to share with women that after having children, there is also a broad world.
like Jia Jingwen, she once said in an interview with people:
"in the years when I gave birth to children, I didn't do much filming. People gave me the impression that the family was very happy, the children were lovely, and I was good at taking care of children.
when the children grew up, she won the 54th Golden Bell Award for Best Actress by virtue of her excellent performance in the distance between us and Evil.
after winning the sight, the eldest daughter wrote her a letter:
"you will worry that you are not a good mother, but you are the best in the world and no one can match you." Not only do you take such good care of me, but you and Ponyo also take good care of me. "
later won the Golden Horse Award with the role of a divorced and unemployed single mother in the Waterfall.
her acting skills were recognized, and Jia Jingwen, who became a mother, was seen again.
I have to say that behind the birth of women in old age, the value other than giving birth is seriously ignored.
but family is not the whole world of women.
you can pay and sacrifice for it, but you can also keep your own independence and have your own world.
finally, I hope that every father can take on his or her own father's duties;
I hope that every mother is no longer confined to the family and has the freedom to give birth and her own world.
, may every mother have her own life and make her own decisions.